Faith and sacrifice

    Yesterday I had the chance to fellowship with a family from my home church in Cupertino. This particular family has seen hardship and learned how to balance their lives in front of their children through these struggles. One thing that I admire the most about this family is their steadfast love for God. The father told me, "We had a challenge when we were younger to pray and read scripture daily, and so far we have done that together everyday" if it were anyone else I would have honestly thought that they probably meant everyday as best as they could... however with this family they really didn't skip a beat. This constant discipline became more natural to them over the time that they formed and practiced their routine with God. The thing that makes this harder is the fact that they have four kids! This makes me reflect on how at my age and life stage with balancing personal time with God, work, friends and family seem hard enough. It is encouraging to know and see a family that pursues God in the company of family. This Christmas break for me is really about finding God's grace through the eyes of others. It has been such an interesting time hearing stories of faith from other families and meetings that I have had while up here in NorCal. I have seen what faith looks like in the midst of sacrifice and loss but also who God through what is created. On another note, over break I had the chance to watch slumdog millionare a movie just recently released. The movie had such great themes and social commentary that I really recommend people to watch it too, its not too scandalous or bloody either. Blessings on your holidays and I hope everyone gets a chance to hear another story from friends/family that has never been heard before.  

I am here on purpose...

We just finished our InterVarsity Christmas Party for Mesa College and the one big take away that I am having is that our students are making genuine, honest and transparent steps for community. This is so powerful because our family is attracting international students, nominal Christians and seekers. They are discovering new passions in community and purpose while being at Mesa. The question of the night was..."Christmas is the story of Jesus, What is your story?" The stories of students that were suppose to be in the navy, at San Diego State or in New York yet ended up at Mesa College were numerous, they really spoke of God's action as purposeful and meaningful. The major dilema on campus is that students don't know why they are there besides community college just being a road block, a means to an ends. But the look on their faces when you see that world view collapse and the God of heaven and earth becomes a bit more day to day...that is priceless. Our God is The Living God and with purpose He directs us Proverbs 16:9.

Family Traditions

     I noticed that my family really doesn't have that many family traditions when I went home for Thanksgiving. Apparently for 8 years Anna Chang and her family have gone to this one Korean BBQ restaurant in San Francisco and afterward they walk a scripted route at Fisherman's Wharf each year during Thanksgiving. Other families go around the table and say what they are thankful for, and at Christmas some families bring out ornaments that have been passed on from generation to generation. It made me feel like starting something in my family besides my gift exchange idea this year. 

   But then I remembered that I am also partaking in Mesa InterVarsity family traditions. Our group has grown so close that community building is just exponentially multiplying. In God's kingdom there is an importance on repetition and remembrance. Tradition done in the right manner helps us write down God's story. Christmas is a sense of tradition even thought it is sometimes confused for gifts, it is a chance to remember the amazing incarnation of Christ. The world was given hope in the form of a child... how counter culture is that!  

    I hope that we all get to take part in some good traditions during this holiday season not just the "black fridays and cyber mondays" but ones that will leave a deeper impression on our hearts. So carol it up with family and your local church. 

I call Jesus Immanuel 

Isa 7:14 

Matt 1:23

Back in the routine

After being sick, stuck on an island and then just being out of town I am finally back at home. It has been a crazy couple of weeks and I am thankful for some normalcy in life. I remember talking to Anna about time flying right past us because it is already Thanksgiving. My conclusion was that we have had so many events from friends or work that just packed the days during this season that time just flies by. Usually these events are spread out unevenly over time so that we wait for an event to happen versus something happening every week that we "have to" be at or have to do. And I feel dissatisfied when your Sunday actually feels like a Thursday. This is why I find it hard sometimes to get into healthy habits, a routine that I can stay disciplined and attentive to. Of course this is no excuse for my lack of motivation to search for God in my daily life but having a buffer to guard your life and heart is good when you are always filling yourself with more work than normal. I am really trying to find what works well in cases of ministry because it is not 9-5 and the challenges come home with you constantly. Also with full time ministry it is a passion and calling thus much of our lives, and those in full time ministry, begin merging life and work. I have read "Emotionally Healthy Church" but I am going to start reading "The Crucifixion of Ministry" by Andrew Purves to hopefully gain some more insight. Just sharing my current thoughts in a busy season.

Chinese American Part 2

I wrote this shortly after a unique conversation I had a few years back while working at my biotech job. 

“So are you Asian or American?” my co-worker asked me nonchalantly as we discussed issues of culture. Almost immediately my Caucasian associate from New York chimes in and calls me American looking for a strong confirmation in his eyes as he asks, “You were born here right?”  I sat in silence for a long time, then I thought about my mom and how she always said and still says in mandarin, “You are Chinese” then I hear the common tag with that quote “I want you to marry a Chinese girl” and my response would always be “man that is sooo traditional mom”. However his question made me begin to wonder what really categorizes people as either Asian or American. Especially when you bubble in those scantron forms for tests, jury duty, or immigration papers. At what point do you consider yourself Asian, American, or Asian American? Is it based upon speaking a language fluently? Because I see many who are bilingual/mixed ethnicities and they must feel like cultural chameleons, but I don’t think that defines your admission into one culture.

Is it the way you look? If I wear the traditional Chinese uniform or Billabong California surf wear I feel out of place in certain environments but intrinsically I am not persuaded toward one culture by wearing a piece of cloth.

Is it where you live? When I go to China I feel so out of place and the Chinese people can tell by my fragmented Chinese and demeanor that I come from America. Most of them just give up on me and we both begin to point. For me personally there is a need to hit up a Starbucks in China not because I like coffee but it is a sign of familiarity. Yet, when I am in America I get the same questions like, “So where are you from?” “You must be good at math right?” and the “ching ching chong” remarks from the not so bright folk. Food choice doesn’t really determine your culture either…I can cook a mean Kung Pao chicken dish at home in San Diego but I love Italian. I do believe that residency has a large influence on how you see yourself as Asian or American but it is not the only factor.      

Was it how you were raised? It is true that I cannot offer my children the best of my Chinese culture because I don’t have all the resources to teach it. But perhaps my broken Chinese will produce Chinglish speaking children haha. Already I see a divide when talking to my mother in Chinglish  and she responds fluently in Mandarin; something is always lost in translation or not always expressed as it was meant to be with depth and effectiveness that we both intended it to be. Raised in a Mandarin speaking home I struggled with the English grammar system but ironically I now struggle with Chinese.    

Here is a statement that has become somewhat of a proverb to travelers. “When you travel you want to live like the locals”. My question concerning ethnic identity is…do we always tend to shed our identity as we try to fit into the norm of society? If we are trying to fit in we lose a bit of our culture and ourselves because we will always be traveling. I am content to say that I am Chinese American the best of both China and America, this is my culture…this is who I am. However I do not know what my children or my children’s children will call themselves. I will offer them my history and my parent’s history and the blessings that my culture brings. With such factors as language, look, lifestyle, and nurture I also leave that task of identity up to them and God. I know that God will pave an ethnic journey and self-discovery for each child. I figure that they can discover it as with the rest of the world when asking the bigger question of “who am I?”

 

 

    

Chinese American

So this week is the San Diego Asian American Film Festival (www.sdaff.org) and it reminds me of how much I love being Chinese American. I have struggled in the past with why God made me Asian and not white (not all the time, but on various occasions when I was younger) and why my friends and I had racist comments thrown at us when we were younger or how my white friends never had peanut butter noodles or shrimp chips growing up. I hated the ugliness of Chinese people with their perfectionist tendencies and shame based culture that seemed to plague each generation. In college much of my identity as an Asian American deepened through the work of InterVarsity. InterVarsity was a choice that I consciously made versus going to an Asian American specific fellowship. This meant going to a fellowship that was racially diverse and at times uncomfortable. This was uncomfortable because people communicated differently, ate foods that were foreign to me and hugged me! I slowly learned what "my own culture" meant, not being home in Asia or America and taking the blessings of what this culture could bring. An example of my culture is in worship. I always had a love for the Asian American worship style (in part repetition), but never knew such a style existed. I always thought that worship was based from what I experienced growing up in a Chinese church. The AA worship style was so embedded in me that my first two years of college I would "sneak" over to AACF (Asian American Christian Fellowship) at UCSD to take part in their worship sessions. Yet InterVarsity exposed other styles of worship to me like gospel songs and songs with different languages.
There seems to be a strong sense of growth in the Asian American community. Older Asian American staff have shared their experiences and stories of a growing presence on the national stage of InterVarsity. Now I feel like it is my responsibility to pass on what has been taught to me about the value of ethnic identity and the celebratory pieces in being Asian American for my students. What is equally important in learning about identity is applying what has been learned to build bridges with other ethnicities. I am still learning about the AA culture and how it is currently being shaped by God's own special plans, but for now I am grateful that this journey of ethnic identity is done in a community from both the past and present Asian Americans. Go watch a movie if your in San Diego and appreciate the talent and blessings that the Asian American community brings.

Did you hear?

    When I think about a super power that would be really awesome a couple answers come into mind, but one in particular I thought would be really great. Traveling through time. I know this sounds a bit cheesy but I would like to travel back in time and just see how Jesus just worked it. And I would have liked to sit with the disciples as they found out that their Savior lives. I mean there are other times in history that I would like to check out but it doesn't even compare to the Living God walking and talking on earth. Well we do have the bible that documents some of Jesus' adventures, but because I am a visual person it would have been awesome to be there. 

    Thinking about this makes me think how far apart we actually are from God Almighty. I mean theology really does sum up to the point that we are not God. He lives in us but is so much higher than us. I think in terms of time and space, where as God created them both! I guess that is what is cool about prayer too, because it reaches outside of time and space to an eternal, immortal and unchanging God. It is even weird to think about God because he is so different from us, the way God came into our context through the incarnation of Christ is so powerful and mind boggling when we think of something coming into time and space. I just really need to remember that God does not work on a schedule but that He is both the beginning and the end. Praise God!

Marty McFly: "Wait a minute, Doc. Ah...are you telling me that you built a time machine...out of a DeLorean?

Dr. Emmet Brown: "The way I see it, if you're gonna build a time machine into a car why not do it with some style? 

-Back to the Future 1985